mitten:

hey can you please never talk to me again its for a school project

(Source: longful, via laugh-til-ya-fart)

77,563 notes

heliolisk:

bad people shouldnt be allowed to have clear skin or good hair or nice jaw lines or green eyes

(via pizza)

408,937 notes



leonkumquat:

when my dad was in college he had a friend who told a girl he’d take her on a date unlike any other she’d ever been on and so he took her to the supermarket to watch the lobsters fighting in the lobster tank

they’re married now

(via pizza)

170,583 notes